The Other Side of Medicine

Doctors train for many years to treat and cure people. They thrive from watching patients get well and spend most of their adult lives pouring their time and energy for the welfare of others.

As the wife of a doctor, I am on the other side of medicine, the family side. I lived through the sleepless nights and the never-ending days of training. Throughout many years I’ve experience waking up in the middle of the night to the ear-piercing sound of a pager, or the incessant ringing of the phone. I listen to his concerns about patients and witness his headaches after night shifts.  He’s rarely present at school activities and sports events. That’s the trend in our family, he takes care of his patients and I take care of the home and children.

Until one day many years ago.

It started as a nagging cramp, which slowly escalated to a full-blown abdominal pain that spread all the way to my back.My doctor husband treated me with pain medication and a round of antibiotics. The pain subsided for a while, but slowly grew to almost unbearable.

After a week in bed I went to my OBGYN, who diagnosed it as a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst the size of a golf ball. The only option other than surgery (which I refused) meant waiting for it to dissolve on its own, which would take another week or two of intense pain, and bed rest.

My husband piled up my responsibilities on top of his. He rushed home to drive our son to soccer practices, plus grocery shopping and cooking. It didn’t bother him at first, but after a few days I noticed that he grew more impatient, and less sympathetic about my condition. After two weeks of playing dual roles of mom and dad, my dear husband looked tired and frustrated.

At first, I confess I felt a little happy about my forced vacation. I even enjoyed watching him take on the myriads of activities I had to suffer on my own for so long. I assumed my pain would soon go away, so I decided to embrace it.

However, instead of fading away, it got more intense and it lasted longer periods. Suddenly, nothing on TV attracted me, nothing I read entertained me and no music soothed me.

My days grew lonelier and my nights grew darker, as I suffered such pain that no medicine seemed to control. I longed for my hectic days of work, carpools and cooking. I would give anything to feel strong and healthy again.

One Saturday afternoon after games and grocery shopping, I heard the banging of a hammer moving all around the house. He walked into our bedroom, toolbox in hand and a determined look in his eyes.

“What are you doing?’

“Just fixing things around the house,” he responded as he walked past me in into our bathroom. “That leak in the faucet is driving me crazy.”

He worked on it for a long time, traveling back and forth to the garage looking for more tools to help him. He did not even pause to ask me how I felt or if I needed anything, just ignored me completely.

My patience finally disappeared.

“Can you please stop for a moment?” I said.

“What is it, I’m busy right now!”, he responded.

“I need to know what’s wrong with you”, I said. “Why are you upset with me?

Stopping dead on his tracks he dropped the toolbox on the floor and sat on the edge of our bed. He grabbed my hand with his oily, dirty fingers, and said,

“I’m not mad at you, I’m just frustrated because I can’t do anything to help you get better. I’m so sorry.”

He kissed me on the forehead, picked up his toolbox and continued on his quest to fix the leaky faucet. Suddenly I realized he was fixing everything he could in the house to make up for the fact that he couldn’t fix me!

That night when I was sleeping, I felt a hand on my head. Before I could open my eyes, I heard him whisper a prayer. “Dear Lord, please help my wife. You are the Great Healer and only You have the power to heal. Thank you, Amen”

I had the best night sleep I’d had in weeks.

Just as the doctor said, I slowly got better. Life in our home returned to normal and I was happier than ever to get back to my hectic routine. There was one thing that changed in me though, and it was my increased gratitude to God for my health, a newfound respect and admiration for people living with chronic illnesses, and appreciation for the prayers of my dear husband.

May we all recognize that only God is capable to fix all our problems, heal our diseases and dry our tears. All we need to do is recognize our shortcomings, identify our needs, run to the throne of mercy and ask for His help. His arms are always open wide

Therefore, let us confidently approach the throne from which God gives grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace in our time of need.   Hebrews 4:16