The Longest Day of my Life

“You need to come back for additional testing…”

The words on that page hit my heart like daggers. It was a letter from the doctor’s office that offered no further explanation.

I called the number as quickly as my fingers could push the buttons on my phone and got a recording. I left a message hoping for a quick response. Questions popped in my mind like thought bubbles over cartoon characters.

What if it’s something bad? What if I die? Is it something I’m eating? What will happen to my children?

My mind raced to all the people I knew who were fighting the battling with cancer or had already lost it. Respect and admiration for them grew as I thought of their strength and dignity. They push through their torturous treatments, many times without missing work, carpooling, cooking or their children’s sports events.  I had flashbacks of the men, women and even children walking around at the mall, the grocery stores and movie theaters. They appear to be healthy people except for a scarf or a wig covering their baldness.

I sat on my bed staring at the vintage clock on the wall.

That minute hand is moving in slow motion. Is it working properly?

Why won’t they call me back?

My heart raced and butterflies swirled in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to cry but tried to remain strong. Suddenly these words dropped in my heart like a warm embrace:

Don’t worry about anything; on the contrary, make your requests known to God by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. Then God’s peace, passing all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

At that moment I made a decision. I decided to believe and to trust. I decided to believe in the Word of God and to trust in Him. I surrendered my health, my family, and my future at the foot of the Cross regardless of the results of the “additional testing.” The dark cloud over my head lifted and peace overtook the anxiety in my heart.

I also chose new heroes, new role models- those who live with and battle life threatening diseases and chronic illnesses.

At the end of what seemed the longest day in my life I finally received that phone call and went back for additional testing. Thankfully, the results were all normal.

My scary experience was short but the effect on my faith and the admiration and respect for those who did not get the same results I did was everlasting.