The Day My Feast Failed
The smell of roasted turkey with all the trimmings permeated the air of our rented house. It was our first Thanksgiving in a new country, so I tried to make it an extra special feast by cooking everyone’s favorite foods.
“Dinner’s ready!” I tried to encourage them with my fake excitement.
My husband and three children marched in silently, took their seats and stared at the food.
“Thanks mom, but I’m not hungry,” my oldest daughter mumbled.
“I’m not either,” chimed the other one.
“Where’s everyone else?” asked my youngest as he started eating , oblivious of the fact that our families were hundreds of miles away.
“No one else is coming” one of the girls whispered to her little brother. “That’s why we’re sad.”
I stared at my husband. He shrugged and gave me the I-don’t-know-what-to-say look.
“Common guys,” my husband said, “Aren’t you happy to have new friends and cool rooms and…hey, what if it snows this winter! You’ve never seen snow before!”
“We can’t be happy and sad at the same time!” my oldest cried. She left the dining room without touching her food, followed by her sister.
My feast had failed.
A war of conflicting emotions erupted in me.
On the one hand, I had peace for doing God’s will, knowing it was the best decision for our family. On the other, I was sad for leaving everything behind and seeing our children suffer.
For a long time, I wondered if life had to be perfect for someone to be happy.
That mindset makes it easy to fall into hopelessness, sadness, depression, anxiety, worry and negativity.
Until one day the Lord showed me that life is not all or nothing.
We can feel sad but have peace at the same time.
We can experience joy for us and suffering for others.
We can feel strong in some areas and weak in others.
We can enjoy life even when it’s not perfect, as long as we have hope in Jesus, Who will never leave us.
“Thankfulness creates hope, which is the joyful anticipation of victory before it happens.” BJ
How do we get out of the black hole negativity and hopelessness and into that state of hope and joy?
- Thanksgiving-Write down and thank God for all the times He has helped you, protected you, provided for you before.
- Praise- Find a Scripture (or more) for your specific situation and read it every time a negative thought enters your mind.
- Trust- in His faithfulness, mercy and loving-kindness.
The prophet Jeremiah expresses it perfectly:
I have been so deprived of peace, I have so forgotten what happiness is,
that I think, “My strength is gone, and so is my hope in Adonai.”
But in my mind, I keep returning to something, something that gives me hope —
that the grace of Adonai is not exhausted, that his compassion has not ended.
[On the contrary,] they are new every morning! How great your faithfulness!
“Adonai is all I have,” I say; “therefore I will put my hope in him.
Adonai is good to those waiting for him, to those who are seeking him out.
It is good to wait patiently for the saving help of Adonai. Lam. 3:17-26 (CJB)
It’s been fifteen years since that first Thanksgiving in Athens, Georgia and thankfully, our only sad one. Our house is always full and happy with many friends that we love as our family. We also get to visit with our family in Honduras often.
Today we celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family all gathered together at home. And the rest of the year I give thanks, knowing that I can enjoy life, even when it’s not perfect, as long as I have Jesus by my side.
PS- I’m also thankful because I’ve never had another failed feast since that day!
